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"A life without conflict is a life of solitude". Victoria L Adenson

Stop hiding from conflict.



We live in a world that tries to hide the fact that life as a human is one of snot, blood, tears and sweat.


Regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation or belief, we are smelly little creatures full of doubt and contradiction.


And it's fantastic.


Life is a magnificent, heartbreaking, exhilarating experience and trying to cover over any facet of it does us all a disservice.


We need to grow up.


Of course we argue. Conflict is a necessary part of the human condition and it's how we sort shit out.


Some of our most wonderful relationships are those in which we have had some of our most difficult conversations.


Yin and yang. Our very existence relies completely on conflict - the muscles we count on to move us around are called ANTAGONISTIC for a reason - when one pushes, the other pulls against it.


That's not to say conflict for it's own sake is desirable. Far from it. We are surrounded by unnecessary, ugly, shameful conflict.


So what makes the difference? Intent.


Where is the disagreement coming from. If it's a desire to grow, to learn, to build up, then it clearly comes from a good place.


As someone said recently - it's about trust. Thanks Tom Manning.


If you trust the person you disagree with to respect your vulnerabilities, to go as far as the line and no further, to consider your feelings in spite of their own, then it is a healthy disagreement.


Too many meetings in too many businesses are seething with barely suppressed frustration and resentment for want of a little honesty.


Get it out. Use your kindest words and show respect, but get it out there for discussion. Even if you disagree, your organisation will be better for it.

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