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It's hard to avoid being overwhelmed by the tribe.
If you try, you will often be lonely, and sometimes frightened.
So said the 19th century philosopher, Nietzche.*
For all our celebration of authenticity, he was correct in pointing out that it cannot come without a price.
The pursuit of self-ownership will invoke criticism.
The tribe doesn’t like you being yourself.
Hence the constant drum-banging.
Look! The sky is falling!
You can’t know yourself if you’re panicking.
And the tribe does not, for all it’s rhetoric, want you to know yourself.
Besides, the world is broken. Right?
So, consume.
Comply.
And shut up.
Here’s a tip, for what it’s worth:
Tell the tribe to f*ck itself.
Figuratively, of course.
You know what the tribe hates?
When you ignore it.
And pay attention to yourself.
Thoreau had it right:
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately.
To front only the essential facts of life.
And see if I could not learn what it had to teach.
And not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
Do not be so distracted by the tribe, that when it comes to die:
You discover that you have not lived.
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*Note: His actual words were: “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened.”
Many people I work with say they're so focused on goals, they struggle to know how to simply 'be'.
They attach so much meaning to what they do that they seem to have lost sight of who they actually are.
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And by disconnecting from who they are, they miss out on many of the things they're chasing.
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In my work, I ask clients three questions:
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Who are you? That is, how well do you know yourself. If life is a journey, where are you starting from?
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Where are you on your journey? In his book, The hero with a thousand faces, Joseph Campbell speaks extensively about 'The Hero's Journey' and 'The Call to Adventure'. Have you been ignoring this call?
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Where is home? Having battled the dragons and conquered them, where do you go? The triumphant homecoming is what awaits every hero. But what does good look like for you?
By working through a specific framework of characteristics and traits, we begin to close in on the true nature of who you are:
The parts you like, and the parts you don't like so much.
As we identify areas where you feel unable to express yourself fully, we can work on incorporating these ideals into your persona.
In this way you slowly begin to incorporate the darker aspects of your personality, and move toward the persona you are crafting for yourself.
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As a result, you alone decide what it means to be the authentic you.
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Is it easy? No.
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Is it comfortable. Not always.
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Will it make people like you? Maybe. But it won't matter: you will like you.
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Call for an introductory chat where I explain in more depth how it works.
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"Clark was a fantastic addition to Polyframe, he put in foundations as part of our journey which helped transform the behaviours of the team.
Clark’s honest approach with great leadership qualities really delivered. I would love to work with Clark in the future and would recommend him to any business"
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M H, General Manager. Berry Global Ltd.